


Are You Worth Your Weight in Gold?

by phantasm_png



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: :(, Capo Tommyinnit (Video Blogging RPF), Capo Wilbur Soot, Consigliere Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Dave | Technoblade and Wilbur Soot and TommyInnit are Siblings, Don Dave | Technoblade, Mafia Sleepy Boys Inc, Other, Twins Wilbur Soot & Technoblade, Underboss Wilbur Soot, dream & george & sapnap r all best friends your honour, im upset at how i seem to be the first one with this kinda au, its such a bad habit like holy shit someone please kill me if i do it again, man it do be like that though, no beta we die like tommys sanity while in exile, please for the love of god let me finish this work instead of dropping it like i always do, sbi is still definitely my fav mcyt group though, speaking of sbi, theyre the dreamteam babey
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:09:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28342935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phantasm_png/pseuds/phantasm_png
Summary: ‘Let’s play a game- it’s called, guess who the fuck I am. I’m an extremely well known twenty one year old agent, known primarily for my ceramic smiley mask and green hoodie. Do you know who I am yet?If you haven’t, you’ve clearly been living underneath a rock. As the most notorious assassin and spy in the lands of SMP; my name is either praised or spat with hate around the country.I am Dream, and I am here to do a job.’or, in which the sbi is part of the mafia and the dreamteam is a bunch of freelance agents who are supposed to infiltrate + take down that specific mafia.title fromhurricaneby panic! at the disco :>
Relationships: Clay | Dream & GeorgeNotFound & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream & GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), No Romantic Relationship(s), Technoblade & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, TommyInnit & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot & Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Comments: 3
Kudos: 71





	1. Cold and Alone— It Suits You Well

**Author's Note:**

> i am trying so hard to finish this story because every other time ive made a story i have abandoned it 
> 
> btw i know like, nothing about the mafia so if i fuck anything up pls tell me i wanna be accurate :’)  
> n its first person and i suck at that so im rlly sorry if its bad ahajsdhjkg :’’))
> 
> n e ways have fun with it aha !! some chapters may jjust b solely worldbuilding so we'll see how that turns out but yeahhh ive dragged you along wit h me for a hellscape of a ride
> 
> chapter title from _lets kill tonight_ by panic! at the disco

Contrary to popular belief, there is far more than just some mobsters and experienced fighters in the Mafia. There is far more than just people working undercover against their families and friends to commit crimes.

Mafia families don’t have to be blood relatives, nor do they have to ‘feel’ like a family.

The highest position in a mafia ‘family’ is the Don, otherwise known as the Godfather.

There is no rule saying that they must be close to their Capos, or their Consiglieres — or hell, even their underbosses.

And oftentimes, they are not close to any of their associates; considering that people affiliated with crime don’t often meet good ends— and nor do any of their loved ones.

Which is why the Antarctic Mafia stands out.

Not only are they one of the most powerful mafia families in the world of Minecraftia, but they also happen to be an  _ actual _ family.

It is said that the Don of the family is in fact, the eldest son and not the father. An odd turnabout of events, sure, but rumors are not to be trusted. (Not that they really were rumors to begin with.)

Nothing much else is known about the ‘Sleepy Boys’, as they were dubbed, except that their Don was apparently, ‘bloodthirsty’, and ‘unafraid to step into negotiations and interact physically with clients if needed.’ The Antarctic Mafia was known to not take kindly to spies or double agents, if they were to be found out.

Which is why  _ I’m  _ here.

Let’s play a game— it’s called, guess who the fuck I am. I’m an extremely well known twenty one year old agent, known primarily for my ceramic smiley mask and green hoodie. Do you know who I am yet?

If you haven’t, you’ve clearly been living underneath a rock. As the most notorious assassin and spy in the lands of SMP; my name is either praised or spat with hate around the country.

I am Dream, and I am here to do a job.

One that was said to be impossible, because of how risky it was, how many people had died trying to accomplish it.

I am to infiltrate the Antarctic Mafia, and bring them down from the inside. And I get a pretty damn hefty pay for it too, if I’m able to do it properly.

“Dream!” My friend calls, rolling up the sleeves of his suit. “You ready for the job?” I smile, although he can’t see it from behind my mask.

“Thought you’d never ask.” 

“Well, how can I not? I mean, this is a job of a lifetime!” “I mean.. it could also technically be classified as the job of your death, no?” “Just because others have died attempting to infiltrate the Antarctic Mafia doesn’t mean we will,” he exclaimed, grey—blue eyes shimmering with excitement and hidden malice.

“You’re just built different, huh?” I ask, attempting to hide a smile. “Sappy Nappy, our resident arsonist is ready to take on the ‘Blood God’ by himself.” 

“Oh Christ, do  _ not _ call me that. I think that might be even worse than Snapmap.” 

“Yeah, yeah, okay Sapnap. You know you love it.” “I do not, actually,” he responds, sticking out his tongue at me. “In fact, I find it rather rude.” 

“Too bad that you’ll have to deal with this during the whole thing, yeah?” 

“Mhm, I both love it and hate it.” 

I mock gasp, feigning hurt. “You could never hate this smokin’ hot bod!” Sapnap laughs at that, grinning in response. “True, true. You know my weaknesses. Where’s George, by the way? We can’t leave til’ the squad’s altogether.” 

George is kind of the group’s ‘negotiator,’ of sorts. If a situation gets ugly, he’s usually the one who talks us out of it— and if he can’t, Sapnap and I just go on the offensive. 

“I’m not entirely sure, to be honest. I think he was held up by something? Dunno what it was though.” “Ah. Hopefully he doesn’t leave the two of us to go on our own, I doubt I’d be able to properly pass off the story without him.” 

“Good thing you’ve got me, then,” I smile at him, hoping to be able to soothe my friend’s nerves.

“True, true.” 

After maybe 5, 10 minutes, George finally shows up, panting but still all decked out in the clothes we were told to put on for the assignment. “I.. fucking.. hate.. children,” he got out, before nearly collapsing. “What the fuck? Are you okay, George?” Sapnap asked, concern evident in his tone— and for good reason, too, because there was a red blotch slowly but surely making its presence known on his chest.

“I— Christ, I— I got attacked by a fucking Capo from the goddamned Antarctic Mafia,” he choked out, coughing up blood. “He couldn’t have been more than 16, so— Christ, the rumors are true, that mafia family’s fucking  _ jacked _ . That blond fuck was about as agile as Sapnap, and I bet he could have snapped my neck had he wished,” George got out, blood flowing out his mouth. 

“Dude, you gotta sit down! Holy shit, let’s— fuck, we gotta clean that shit up,” Sapnap said, hair stuck to his face as he tried to dress George’s wounds with bandages. “So he let you go?” I asked, concerned but also wanting to know more about this despicable mafia family who had hurt one of my best friends. 

“Well— not exactly, what happened was that we were kind of ‘interrupted’, so I had the chance to get up and escape,” George said, wincing as Sapnap pulled the bandages tighter. “So basically, I kinda can’t come on the infiltration mission,” he finished, plastering on a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

The room was silent for a bit, until Sapnap spoke up. “Well shit then, we’re basically fucked.”

“Not exactly,” I pipe up, readjusting my mask when my friends turn to look at me.

“We don’t exactly have to go undercover, do we? We could technically just go for an assassination.” “Yeah, but the thing is with that, it’s so much more risky —” “It’s already incredibly risky George, especially now that you can’t exactly help because they know what you look and sound like.” The brunet stayed silent for a bit after that, and then looked back up at Sapnap and I.

“Fine, but I’m coming with.”

Sapnap rolled his eyes at that. “You’re not going  _ anywhere _ until you’ve healed up, old man.” 

“I’M LITERALLY 4 YEARS OLDER THAN YOU!”


	2. I See People Dying There, But My Tender Age Makes It Hard To Care

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> taking a small look at the personal lives of the acclaimed antarctic mafia's higher ups

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey look at me im being productive  
> also yeah sbi chapter :)  
> 3rd person omniscent it kinda just gives u background on the sbi n shit yk
> 
> chapter title from _verbatim_ by mother mother
> 
> its really really fucking short but hey at least im more on the route to finish ig

The Antarctic Mafia was famous, an Empire in all but name. 

The Don, the Emperor was a pink haired hybrid of only 21 years; with the mask of a boar’s skull covering his identity. There were many different factors contributing to the layers and layers of terror surrounding his image, and his skeletal skull did not help ease the fear that his associates felt around him.  
By all aspects, he should not have been the one in charge of the Mafia. But he was, and that only strengthened their reputation all the more.

Only the higher ups knew his real name, and by God did they hide the secret well.  
(Then again, all the higher ups had their names hidden from the public. Secrecy was something rather valued in the Antarctic Mafia, after all.)

It was incredibly odd to imagine the Don behaving like a normal citizen, but it happened.

“Tommy, what the fuck are you doing?!” At 16, Capo Innit was one of the most energetic and excitable members of the Mafia; which both brought up the spirits of his allies and terrified his enemies. (Tommy didn’t particularly understand why, but the Don knew. After all, seeing the bloodied, grinning face of his youngest brother as you died.. Yeah, he couldn’t imagine many more things as terrifying.)

“Just stabbed a man, feeling good!” “Did you injure yourself?” “No, Wilbur, ‘m fineee,” Tommy drawled out, hiding his bloodied arm behind his back. “Liar,” the Don cut in, black eyes boring into his brother’s soul. 

“Okay, Techno. Whatever you say,” Tommy quipped back, sticking his tongue back out at the older man. “What are you gonna do, sic Phil on me?” “That’s actually exactly what I’ll do, how’d you guess?”

Wilbur’s snickering cut the two of them off, the brunet shrugging and pretending he hadn’t been mocking his siblings when they turned to look at him. “Didya know that there are a group of assassins sent to come murder you, by the way?” Wilbur said, fanning himself with his hand. 

“Wh- they can’t kill the Blade, you know! Technoblade never dies and all that shit, blah blah-” “Eh. We all know that’s just an legend ‘bout me, Toms-” “In all honesty though, I think Tommy’s right. Literally not even once has anybody managed to come close to hurting you,” Wilbur stated plainly, rolling his eyes at the affronted look on his twin’s (who had now unmasked himself) face. 

“Don’t give me that look, I’m right.” 

“As usual,” Tommy added. 

“Shut up, gremlin child.” 

“Fuck off, bitchboy! I was trying to be nice!”

“Sure didn’t do a good job of it, huh?”

“Whatever, you wanker.” Techno burst into laughter at this, and the topic of his oncoming attempted assassination was all left behind in his mind.

He had more important things to worry about, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> heheehehehhehe guess who stabbed gogy HEHEHEHHEHE
> 
> anyway writing is a pain but i hope u like this :thumbsup: im trying so hard to b productive and finish this thing its not at all funny


End file.
